Involved

I Try - Macy Gray
On Saturday morning, I took Munchkin to ballet class, and after we went grocery shopping to grab some ingredients for dinner. As we walked around the store we chatted about various topics, and several times (especially in the checkout line) I noticed women watching us and smiling.

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That afternoon, MTM took Munchkin out on some errands, leaving Buddy and I to get loaded, play cards, and hire strippers our own devices. He and I played, and goofed around, and even watched a little tv (Yo Gabba Gabba, for those who want to know - he was only interested in the music, when they were just talking he walked away).

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That night after the kids were in bed, MTM and I were playing a game at the kitchen table (for the first time in forever - seriously, we never do this anymore) when I told her about the grocery store that morning.

"They were just enjoying you being an involved dad."

"Seriously?"

"Not many are."

"Come on. It's not that rare."

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On Sunday morning, I took Munchkin out for breakfast to Chez Ronaldo. We both got Happy Meals. We both got girl toys. I no longer have My Little Pony. sigh

Another dad was there, and we chatted while our kids (his three daughters and Munchkin) played. He seemed like a good guy: he did that (breakfast out with his three girls) regularly so his wife could sleep in.

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Later that morning, MTM took Munchkin to a birthday party while Buddy and I dabbled in crystal meth and read Playboy hung out (well, if your idea of "hanging out" invovles two poopy diapers) and had some lunch.

When MTM and Munchkin got home, the four of us went outside to meet our neighbour's new puppy. While we were outside, MTM remarked that Buddy was stinky, and I chortled, "Hey I did two while you were gone... this one's yours."

Without missing a beat, our (other, non-puppy-owning) neighbour (with two kids of her own who enjoy an involved dad) chimed in, "Well, I'm sure she's changed more than two this week."

A few minutes later, I excused myself, saying that I had to go in and make dinner. The neighbour didn't acknowledge my statement.

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I know I've written about this before (and that post spawned its own sequel, but it's sort of a hot button topic with me, the whole involved dad thing). I mean, it may not be a majority of dads (from my personal experience it is a majority - not necessarily a strong majority - that try their best to be involved) but it is certainly more commonplace than rare.

So then, why is it that a dad who takes his daughter for groceries and chats with her, is met with such a response? Don't misunderstand, I know that the women meant nothing but kindness, but would they have responded the same way if Munchkin were talking with MTM? That's the rub.

Furthermore, since when is parenting a competition? I make no secret of the fact that I change fewer diapers than MTM. Part of it I will admit is because my stomach can't handle really bad smells, but a larger part is that Buddy is at an age where changing him is an Olympic event, and MTM has way more training than I do. Does the fact that I don't wipe poo as often as the parent who stays home with him all day mean that I'm somehow shirking my responsibilities as a father? Really?

What are your thoughts on the above? Why is a dad talking to his daughter in public more interesting than a mom? Also, tell me that my neighbour was out of line (or lie to me if you don't think so).