TTS: Something Pretty

So, how did you all like the little switcheroo we did yesterday? To be honest, had I known she was going to be so sappy, I probably wouldn't have suggested it. But nevertheless, we are back to normal today; no more "SFD is so sweet... blah, blah, blah..." However, for our reference, we would still like to know what you thought of it:

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Paranoid Android by Radiohead
On Tuesday I mentioned that I recently received a salary bump. What I didn't mention was the tradition our family has with that event. (I mentioned this last year, but that is a reposted link from my old blog; so I will retell the story here.)

When MTM and I were first dating, we lived far apart. I promised her once my annual bonus came, I would move closer to her, and as an incentive, I would also buy her "something pretty" with the influx of funds. That year, her "something pretty" was a pair of earrings. Since then, every year when I have my salary review (my current employer - I switched jobs to be closer to her - does not believe in the bonus practice), she gets "something pretty", usually some kind of jewelery.

Last year was the first time I had the opportunity to do the "something pretty" thing for both my girls, and while MTM got a necklace the munchkin got a tent. This year, MTM got a necklace with a blue (her favourite colour) pearl:


And the munchkin got Diego "viewnocular" (actually a Viewmaster):


My MIL does not understand why I do this every year, and maybe some of you don't either. So, I will try and explain.

It would be simple if I could say that I enjoy showering my girls with gifts. While that is true, it is not the only reason why I do it. Yes, part of the "something pretty" tradition lies in the gift giving concept, but for me it is more about the family being a single unit. Each of us has our role in the family: I am employed outside the home for monetary gain, providing economic sustenance, MTM provides care for our daughter and generally maintains our home, and the munchkin grows and learns and looks cute (it's not as easy as it sounds, you know!) So, when my salary increases, it is not an achievement for me, it is something for all of us, and therefore, all of us celebrate. To put not too fine a point on it: I don't get a raise, we get a raise.

TWS: From the Sexiest Inuit Alive

Today we're trying something a little different at our blogs. Usually my hubby's Wednesday post is what has come to be known as "Wifey Wednesday", where he writes something (generally humourous) about life with me. Today, however, we're going to do "Spouse Swap Wednesday", where we both write about each other, on each other's blog. You can read SciFi Dad's post over at Circle Of Life.

Most of the time, SciFi Dad doesn't share the cheesy aspects of our lives, so leave it to me to share some. This song is our wedding song, I'd like to dedicate it to SciFi Dad.

Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra

First of all, SciFi Dad is a very humble person. Of course, I choose to say this after yesterday's post, but nonetheless, it is true, he's a humble guy. He shares the bad and the ugly and leaves out a lot of the good when it comes to himself.

Last week, SciFi Dad wrote a post about me being the sexiest Inuit alive, so here I am, in my flannel pj's and my warm, fuzzy socks to tell you a few things that you didn't know about SciFi Dad!

Did you know that SciFi Dad:

• is the best hubby and father


• snores like a bear amplified by a million


• is kind, considerate and passionate


• requires a lot less sleep than the average human being, hence he is incredible and lets me sleep in in order to keep his sanity as often as he can so that I can be less bitchy function


• is a kid at heart


• is a fussy eater (more to come on that topic in another post)


• doesn't put his toothbrush in the toothbrush holder properly and it drives me nuts! (I had to put this one in there, just had to!)


• is very dedicated (this goes for everything in life--his family, his job, his love for his PSP etc.)


• has the best wife ever (hehe! Ok, I'm given free reign over here folks, I had to put that in there)

No, seriously folks. SciFi Dad really is a one of a kind guy. He is an amazing catch and I love him with all of my heart (did I get too mushy for a blog, sorry--let me mop it up). He does absolutely everything to the best of his ability (and let me tell you, his best is incredible). He certainly does give everything he's got when he puts his mind to something. There is no such thing as half assed for SciFi Dad--even when it comes to screwing up. This is a good thing and a challenge all wrapped up in an amazing package.

SciFi Dad goes out of his way to make sure that I know he appreciates me. He even puts up with my ridiculously insane quirks, clutziness, my obsession with organization and even my hairy legs!

Gosh, after that long list--you might wonder why he's still with me ;)

Thank you, SciFi Dad for allowing me to share with your readers what an incredible guy you really are. Sometimes, when I read your blog, I feel like you are so hard on yourself that your readers may not get a sense for the true you. I hope this has provided them with a little insight into your character.

TTS: Every Silver Lining Contains A Cloud

Today's song choice comes from a CD I listened to a lot back in university. Somewhere along the way I allowed someone to borrow it and they never returned it. I recently purchased another copy, and have been enjoying it ever since. The connection between the song and today's story lies more at the beginning than at the end.

Sober by Tool
Back in November, I mentioned that all was not well at work. I didn't mention it again, but that doesn't mean things improved; it just meant I had stopped complaining about it.

The brief version of the story is this: someone in a position of power did something that was not only unethical but illegal to me, with malicious intent. Unfortunately, even though the owner agreed with me, they could not remove the other party due to circumstances I cannot get into here. I was angry and hurt, but most of all I was worried that someone who was in a position of power "had it in for me".

Had I been single, I would have dropped my resignation the moment it happened. But as my joke about how old I am (I often kid around and say that one is as old as the number of people who are screwed if you die - a single guy is younger than a married guy, a married DINK is younger than a guy with a kid, et cetera) goes, I couldn't just up and leave. There were too many other people depending on me.

Instead, I came home and tried to come to terms with it, with MTM trying to calm me down and convince me to not act rashly. After a few quick calls and some brief stints on a couple job search engines, I made a deal with my wife: I would hold off on leaving until January, when my annual review was due, and see what played out with that. I was frustrated and resented the fact that I had to stay in a situation that was at the best of times tensely awkward. I felt guilty for that resentment, and as much as I would love to tell you that I told my wife how I felt, I didn't (but she knew anyways). I "sucked it up" and did my part in our partnership (bringing in the money).

The truth is that, setting this one individual aside (which is impossible to do in reality, but for argument's sake it works), I have a pretty sweet work situation. I come and go as I please (for the most part), and can work from home and flex my time to suit my family's schedule. So, finding another job that offered all that flexibility wasn't going to be an easy task.

Over the past few months, I've actually said on more than one occasion that my boss is lucky, because "there but for the grace of MTM" I would have been long gone (and at the risk of some of you being offended by my arrogance, my departure would leave a sucking chest wound in that company for months if not years).

Sometimes, it would appear, things happen for a reason. Because I gave it a little time, I was still employed at the same place yesterday, and yesterday, everything changed. I came in to discover that the offending individual had resigned on Friday. Ironically my annual review was also yesterday. (It went well - I got a salary bump for more than double the cost of living rate change.)

Where does that leave me? As I said above, aside from that individual I had a good deal at my job, and combining their departure with a salary bump (more money never hurts) makes a good situation better. So, from a work perspective, all is well. However, I still feel like an ass for resenting my situation in the interim. And that is going to take more time to correct.

TRS: The Big Show

Shiny Happy People by R.E.M.
The bulk of our weekend centered around one major event, so the bulk of the chatter (and photos) will be about that.

On Saturday morning, I got to sleep in for a bit, and when I woke up I discovered the munchkin working on a puzzle (for the the third time that morning):


After that, went to our regular music class, where we learned that we were in the local community paper (they had been in our class in December and snapped a photo of the munchkin and I). Since it's not blog-safe, I'm not posting the link here. But, if you know me (and I know you) and you're interested, email me and I can send the link your way.

We came home, had a quick bite to eat, and drove to the subway station. We rode the rocket downtown and walked a couple blocks to the CBC building for this:


What is that, you ask? Why, it is a dress rehearsal for a Kids' CBC live show that was about to start touring Canada. Since we were insanely early, we actually got front.row.seats! Plus, seeing as it was a rehearsal, it was free! Oh yeah, baby, we scored large. (OK, technically all the props go to MTM for seeing this in a newsletter, emailing back and forth, and securing a spot on the list.)

Curious George was there:


As was Bo from Bo On The Go:


(Incidentally, for those Canadian readers - or those who get CBC - Bo On The Go is an amazing new show for toddlers. It's all about physical activity, and makes television watching much more interractive than other attempts such as Dora or Diego.)

It was incredible to see the munchkin's face light up. She was so into the show, singing and dancing and clapping and yelling at all the characters. (Although she did have trouble with the concept of people - specifically Bo and George - going off stage at points... she was always worried they weren't coming back.)

And at the end, she got to see them on stage together:


On Sunday, nothing much of note happened, other than Mommy/daughter bonding over baking:


How were they? I christened them "stinky feet muffins".

SFD: Rock The Meme

Bang on! by The Propellerheads
I had seen this meme floating around (notably at motherbumper) and thought it looked like a fun weekend project.

The rules of the meme are simple:

1. Click on this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first title on the page is the name of your band.
2. Click on this link: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. Finally, click on this link: http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. You then take the pic and add your band name and the album title to it, then post your picture.

Here are my results:

photo source

photo source

photo source
Some notes:

• The Downward Spiral (the NIN album) actually came up in one of the Wiki randomizers; I ignored it.
• Khaybar KH2002 is actually some kind of assault rifle; consider that when viewing the second cover
• I had a hard time with images because I kept getting photos of people's kids, and I didn't feel right using those
• If you want to do this, consider yourself "tagged". I rarely do "tags", unless it's something that genuinely interests me, so I don't want to try and force anyone into anything.

Enjoy your weekend.

THS: Video Friday #7

I've tried something different today with the embedded flash in my post in an effort to make it (and hopefully all future posts) more compatible with the various readers and browsers out there. So, if you're reading via feeds, you should see the imeem player again, as well as the embedded videos. If some of you don't, I would really appreciate an email at talesfromthedadside [at] gmail [dot] com. Also, if the actual blog page isn't loading correctly please email me as well to let me know. In your email (if you're comfortable sharing this information) please include what feed reader (if applicable) and browser (name and version) you're using. Thanks in advance for helping.

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Turn The Beat Around by Vicki Sue Robinson
I've had these videos sitting in a folder for a couple months now, and since I've got no inspiration for something heady today, you get videos.

First, we have a conversation with the munchkin about exercise machines; specifically whether or not Dora, Boots and Diego use them. I messed around with the video (not audio) because I felt like it; I'd taken the video from the nose down (meaning it was already "blog-safe" without the edits):

Second (and finally) we have a video that can be explained in two words - Disco Bunny:

TDS: The Wish List

Spice Girls - Wannabe

When the munchkin was really little, MTM used to maintain a "wish list" for her, containing things that she wanted the munchkin to have. As the munchkin got older, we began to refer to this wish list as an alternative to actually purchasing everything on the spot. ("We won't buy this today, but would you like to put it on your wish list?")

Recently, she has been informing us of things she would like added to her wish list. Some of the items are of expected variety:

• a Doodlebops guitar
• another Dora doll
• a real camera

While others require some explanation:

• a magnifying glass (pronounced mega-fine glass) - like Alpha Pig from Super Why used in one episode
• a "word basket" (not sure what this is) - like Red Riding uses in Super Why (guess what her new favourite show is)
• a "baby" train - she found an infant toy train that plays music at Toys R Us last weekend; it is far too simplistic a toy for her, but it plays music, and this child loves music, so she wants it

But there is one item that, each and every time it is mentioned, makes MTM a) cringe and then b) look at me with the death daggers only a wife can give: pop. As in, root beer, soda, cola, lemon-lime, or whatever else you want to call it: sugar and carbonated water and flavouring (colour optional).

You see, that is all.my.fault, according to my wife. I like my root beer, my Coke Zero (it's replaced Diet Pepsi as my diet cola of choice), and just about any other artificially flavoured carbonated beverage I can get my hands on. And sometimes, when I'm feeling particulary nice, I let the munchkin have a sip or two or twelve when we're out somewhere like a restaurant (but only non-caffinated and non-diet varieties, and never at home). She likes root beer the best, for those who want to know.

But, from my perspective, this is all my wife's fault. You see, I had been wanting to let the munchkin try my pop for months to see her reaction to the carbonation and sweetness. And then, one day at a restaurant, MTM gave her a sip of Sprite as a treat. MTM, who rarely (if ever) drinks pop, gave my kid pop. That is why I let her sample my beverages! Once you let the genie out of the bottle, you cannot put it back, people. So, it's not my fault that the munchkin wants pop, despite my wife's attempts at revisionist history.

Regardless of who is to blame, I understand that letting kids have tons of pop is a bad thing. Sugary corrosive beverages are not something to be encouraged. But as an occasional treat? I see nothing wrong with it. And that's why on her birthday, the munchkin will open a gift clearly marked from Daddy and inside will be one of those stubby cans/bottles of root beer.

TWS: Sexy

Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy

This past weekend, while we were having lunch in the food court of our local mall, I happened to notice an advertisement on one of the big screen televisions they had. It was for a lingerie store (gee, I wonder why that caught my attention), and the ad read, "A nightie is a practical and sexy choice for sleepwear."

"Did you see that?" I asked MTM.

"No. What?"

"'A nightie is practical and sexy.'"

"What?"

"An ad on the tv."

"But they also make me cold."

"But I'm there to warm you up, sweetheart."

"Are you trying to say that there's something wrong with what I wear?"

"No, not at all. I mean, the flannel pajamas and the fleece hoodie (with hood pulled over your head) and the two pairs of socks make you, like, the sexiest Inuit alive."

"Hey, at least I don't wear panties."

"That's true."

TTS: Time Travel

Babylon Zoo - Spaceman

I was bored last night in between the time the munchkin went to bed and my regular television shows came on, so, being a SciFi Dad, I decided to do a little time travel. Where did I go, you ask? I went back in time exactly three years, to find SciFi Expectant Father, and offer him the opportunity to ask me some questions. What follows is a transcript of the exchange.

SciFi Expectant Father: So you're me, but from the future?
SciFi Dad: Yes.
SFEF: But, aren't you worried about messing up the space-time continuum?
SFD: Shut up with the time travel consequence talk and ask me deep, important questions. I've got a blog to write for.
SFEF: You write a blog?
SFD: Focus, damnit!

SFEF: So, is it a boy or a girl?
SFD: That's your first question? Seriously? Fine. It's a girl.
SFEF: Really?
SFD: No, I just time traveled to lie to you.
SFEF: I'm a lot more sarcastic in the future.
SFD: I can't believe I used to be you.

SFEF: OK, what is being a father like?
SFD: Think of life the way it is now.
SFEF: OK.
SFD: Do you have a clear picture?
SFEF: Uh, I do live it, like, right now.
SFD: And you're a lot more sarcastic in the future?
SFEF: Being a father...?
SFD: OK. Think of life as it is now. Then, shake it like a snow globe, throw it across the room, and lie it upside down.
SFEF: So, different?

SFEF: Is changing diapers as gross as I think it's going to be?
SFD: No.
SFEF: Whew. Thank goodness.
SFD: It's much, much worse.
SFEF: Crap.
SFD: Yep.

SFEF: Will my kid listen to my music, like I hope?
SFD: Until she's aware of the world around her, which in this case is about three months, she'll love jazz like you hope. After that, she'll like dance music and easy listening from kid's movies.
SFEF: So she doesn't like U2 like that cool five year old we know?
SFD: Not even a little bit.

SFEF: What's my, uh, our kid like?
SFD: She's sweet and kind and thoughtful.
SFEF: That's nice.
SFD: And probably smarter than MTM and you put together. We are so screwed once she figures that out.
SFEF: Good to know.

SFD: And with that, I must be off.
SFEF: Why are you talking like a comic character now?
SFD: Shut up.

Afterwards, as I sat there thinking about what had happened, I realized that I had no idea what to expect at that time, and no amount of questions were going to give me a better picture. Becoming a parent is a life-changing event, but trying to describe the sweeping nature of the changes to someone who is not a parent already is nearly impossible.

I wondered, Would I appear that stupid if "future me" offered me the same opportunity? Would my questions be as foolish to him? I suspect the answer is yes, because just like pre-parent me could not fathom what life would really be like at this juncture, I cannot properly grasp what the future will bring for my family.

TRS: Blog Makeover Weekend

Again I offer a song that has nothing to do with the post below. (Seriously. The lyric "'my god,' he said, 'this woman is gone'" is not about the woman in this post. I promise.) It's just one of my favourites, and it's some Can-con too.

Our Lady Peace - Hope

Friday night was our usual family games night, which saw the munchkin win again; I think this game is rigged for short loud people. After she went down, MTM and I settled in to finally watch Knocked Up. My two cent review: good, but would have been better without the multiple crowning shots. Also, is Katherine Heigl the only woman alive who always has sex with a bra on? (Was I the only one to notice this? Really? OK. Let's move on then.)

Saturday morning the munchkin got up at 6am, so I took her downstairs and put in a Diego DVD (that I won from Props and Pans) and promptly crashed on the couch, allowing the electronic babysitter to do its job. (Seriously, people, when you weigh it out, I still come out ahead: wife sleeps in = good; daughter cuddles with me on couch = good; daughter unsupervised = bad.)

After guilt my need to be a better parent the coffee kicked in, I turned off the EB and she decided it was dress up time:


Once MTM got up, I was able to hit the computer. No sooner as I had booted it up, did my wonderful wife say, "You know what you can give me for Valentine's day? A new banner for my blog. I can't stand my banner."

Nice. This is the same banner that, when I made it for her in October, elicited, "I love it. It's perfect!"

So, I did a messing in Photoshop with a sequence of images from the DSLR of the munchkin in the bath and came up with this:


(click to enlarge)
"Ooh! I love it!" came the reply. I wonder what she'll say in three months. "Now we need a new one for my other blog."

While I was messing with the banner, the munchkin was helping MTM do crunches:


We then hit the local mall to pick up my lens hood that I'd ordered. While we were wandering, MTM mentioned how she loves Katherine Heigl and that's mainly why she liked Knocked Up. This spurred a memory of a flyer that had tons of tv series on DVD for $20 a pop. To make a long story short: she's now hooked on Roswell, and we got the complete series (three seasons) for $60. Sweet, especially in light of the writer's strike. Dirty, rotten, greedy bastards... take away my Lost, my Heroes... sons o' bitches...

When we got home that afternoon, I began working on the second banner. That turned into resetting the layout to three columns, redoing the colour scheme, and redoing most of the CSS. I won't show the banner here since it's a full site project. You can go see her Multi-Tasking Mommy blog.

That night, the munchkin showed me her exercises:


And then informed me that I take too many pictures:


Sunday morning saw (in addition to more blog enhancements) more dress-up time:


And a little tower construction (note the hammer):


On Sunday afternoon, my inlaws stopped in while they were passing by. Of note was my MIL's comment about her new digital camera. You see, since the camera has a 3" LCD, it has no optical viewfinder, which (according to her) limits her artistic abilities with the camera. It didn't matter that I explained to her that point and shoot digital cameras lack a true optical viewfinder and only have a pass-through (i.e. a hole in the camera) that is useless when zooming, or that her other (film) camera is a POS point and shoot. Apparently, the lack of viewfinder limits her expression. I so wish I was making this up.

And I leave you with this from Sunday dinner, where the munchkin helped set the table, unsupervised:

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There's also a new Daditorial up, where I look at Family Day.

TTS: Checks and Balances

Today's song has absolutely nothing to do with the post subject. It's just a song I like that I thought I'd share with you all.

Another Horsedreamer's Blues by Counting Crows

In the past, I have repeatedly written about my issues with being a working father. Call it daddy guilt, call it whatever you want; but I have a hard time with it. Part of it comes from my own past, with a father who never seemed to have any time for me, and part of it comes from my situation: that MTM is a SAHM and therefore spends significantly more time with the munchkin than me. (Before I continue, please understand that I do not begrudge the time my wife gets with our child. However, when I compare the time to my own, I find my contribution to be sorely lacking.)

Occasionally, we do things to compensate for my lack of presence. This week, there are two.

On Wednesday, the munchkin and my wife came for lunch at my office. The munchkin was so excited to come and eat at my desk and visit with me. She ate some of my lunch, and she ate some of what MTM packed for herself, and she ate a little bit of her own lunch. We chatted about what I was doing at work ("drawing pictures on the computer" - I was designing a user interface) and what they were going to do that afternoon. It was brief - maybe 45 minutes total - but it broke up my day and was fun for her and for me.

This morning, MTM is sleeping in while I hang out with the munchkin. I've got a morning meeting at a client near the house, so I'm not driving into the office, choosing instead to work from home (effectively, keep an eye open for work emails while the munchkin and I play). Following the meeting, I've got a bit of work to finish up, and then I'm free for the day with my girls. While I don't do it as often as I'd like, I try to work from home once in a while to get some more munchkin time.

Ultimately, nothing will make up for all the time I miss while I'm at work. And while the logical side of my brain tells me that it's a fact of life, it doesn't make it any easier. But lunches like Wednesday's and mornings like today help, a little.

TWS: How We Narrowly Missed The End Of Days

About a week ago, MTM brought out yet another parenting book, showing it to me and saying, "This isn't about you. I got it to review, not about you." The book she was holding was called The Lazy Husband.

Fast forward to after dinner one night earlier this week. The munchkin padded off to the living room to play while my wife and I remained in the kitchen. I hopped up after my daughter to get on the computer to do some stuff, but before I could get to the keyboard, my wife spoke up, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure. Just let me get this started," I replied.

As I typed away, she continued, "I've been reading that 'Husband' book."

"Mmm hmm." Crap. I knew this was coming.

"It's really interesting. There's a chapter devoted to the husbands, sort of a 'man to man' thing, that I read first. It has all sorts of advice and tips and stuff."

"Mmm hmm." She is so going to force me to read that.

"And after reading it, I realized how lucky I am."

"Huh? What?" Crap. I need to learn to pay more attention. I think she just gave me a compliment.

"I need to apologize to you. I take you and all the things you do for granted."

"Woah. Hold on," I said as I stopped typing and came back to the table. I need to soak in this rare moment. "I want to hear this clearly." You hardly ever apologize to me. What's next? Dogs and cats living together? A fat-free chocolate bar that tastes good and won't give you cancer?

So I listened as she waxed sentimental about me as a husband and father, and I thanked her when she was done.

Then the munchkin came in, farted, said, "Cucumbers make me toot," and laughed. My wife gave me the "I can't believe you taught her that" look as I tried to avoid eye contact, and all was right with the world again.

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The FINAL Throwback Thursday
With this collection of posts, I have effectively bridged the gap between Tales From The Dad Side and my old blog (as best as I can - some posts just didn't make it because once you removed the photos with my daughter's face, there wasn't anything there). I am willing to bet some most of you are as happy to see the end of these link lists as I am. To those who want a recommendation, the Valentine's Day one makes me look good, and the last one (about my father) is a more introspective one.

TNS: UI Benefits for Single Parents - news commentary
TRS: Superbowl Weekend - a recap of how I migrated my wife's old blog to new Blogger (weeks before she discontinued it)
TNS: Family Prisons - news commentary
TWS: Painting Our Apartment - about the first time MTM chose paint colours
TDS: My Daughter's Favourite Expressions - just some cute expressions from a toddler
TRS: Visiting The Grandparents - a recap of a visit with my parents
TNS: Catholic Adoption Agencies And Same-Sex Couples - news commentary
TWS: A Valentine Memory - a story of our last Valentine's Day before becoming parents
SFD: My Father/Son Relationship - about my relationship with my father

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There is also a new Daditorial up, where I look at a recent study that suggests that severe tantrums may indicate depression.

TTS: The Arts In Education

In case you are relatively new to the site, or have not checked my profile, I am an engineer. Specifically, I am an electrical engineer who works in the field of control systems for industrial and municipal applications. To state it succinctly: I write programs for computers that control machines and make them do what people (operators) want them to; my programs make crackers and minivans, they clean pharmaceutical equipment, and they pump municipal water into houses.

But I was not always an engineer. A long time ago, before I went to university, something other than computers dominated my life: music. I have played alto saxophone since the seventh grade, and in high school I was in a number of bands. Sure, I also did other stuff, but music was my passion, my life. It taught me about myself, and allowed me to explore a creativity I never knew I possessed (thanks to a previously established and overly encouraged strength in maths and sciences).

And while I may not have ended up performing for a living, my period as a (self-proclaimed) musician, even as brief as it was, helped me more than any calculus or physics lesson ever would. It was there where I learned how to appreciate subtlety and fine detail, where I learned that sometimes seemingly incongruent things (or even people) could be brought together to create something far greater than its parts.

Today, when I read about funding for the education system being cut, and that to balance the budgets schools are omitting "non-essential" programs such as drama or music, I am deeply saddened. While admittedly there are more career opportunities that stem from science or math or technology programs, a future career is not the only goal of the education system. The purpose of that system is to educate individuals about the world, not train them for a career. The career will come soon enough.

Before they head out into the world, children need to be shown all that it can offer, not just what they need to earn money. Arts programs (either musical, dramatic, or fine arts) as well as the humanities (specifically I am thinking about literature and history) may not yield the big paycheque, but they will show them more about beauty and creativity and exploring their world.

And where will it end? Education funding has been steadily decreasing for years, so it would be reasonable to argue that it will continue to decline in the future. If more cuts are needed, what is next? Who needs to read Shakespeare, or Margaret Atwood for that matter, for their job? And realistically, how much high school history comes up in one's day to day life? How long before the education system is no longer about education, but only about training?

From a different perspective, what sort of individuals will an education system with little or no emphasis on the arts produce? Will these people devalue aesthetics, creativity, and ultimately originality? And at what cost?

Albert Einstein played the violin, and was even quoted as saying,

"If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music."

But what if he were raised in the education system of the future, where there was no music to study? Would he have developed such a creative approach to mathematics and physics were it not for the thing he learned studying music? While this can never be known for certain, who is to say the two are unrelated? And if that cannot be ascertained, then perhaps de-emphasizing the arts is not the best course of action.

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Instead of starting today's post with a song, I will end with one. This is a track from my final high school jazz band concert, A Night In Tunisia, written and originally recorded by Dizzy Gillespie. For those curious (or in a rush and want to skip ahead), I'm the saxophone soloist that comes in around the 1:25 mark. (And yes, looking back, I probably shouldn't have shot for the altissimo - a.k.a. "the really high squeals" - register, but what's done is done.)


A Night In Tunisia

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This post was composed as part of this week's Hump Day Hmm, hosted by Julie Pippert at Using My Words. You can visit her blog to see more perspectives on this subject.

TDS: Why I Don't Read Parenting Books

Britney Spears - Oops, I Did It Again

On Sunday, while the munchkin napped, MTM was reading one of the million parenting books that create a structural hazard on her nightstand (she does book reviews for a website) while I watched some football. Since she knows I am about as likely to read a parenting book as I am to shave with our chef's knife, she will often pull pearls of wisdom from her readings and share them with me in the hopes that it will put me in a mood to ponder. This time was no different.

"You know, this book talks about the huge difference between 'praise' and 'encouragement'. I think we praise her too much."

"Uh huh."

"Like, 'praise' is: 'you did a great job,' while 'encouragement' is more 'did you have fun doing that?' You know what I mean?"

"Uh huh."

Sunday evening, while we were eating dinner, we were talking to the munchkin about her skating experience when she said, "I didn't skate very well."

"What do you mean, munchkin?"

"I fell a lot. I didn't skate very well."

"Sweetheart, you skated very well," I said. "Falling is part of learning to skate." MTM chimed in with similar sentiments.

Then it occurred to me, This is praise, isn't it? Crap. I should encourage her. (Sometimes, I try to show that I was listening and that I am willing to put one of her nutty ideas into action.)

"Munchkin, did you like skating today?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Then that's all that matters. If you had fun, and you enjoyed yourself then that's all that's important. As long as it's fun, you should do it." (I bet you can see where this is going.)

"And if it's not fun, I won't do it," she replied, demonstrating her application of logic. At this point, MTM gave me one of those trademark wife "boy did you just fuck up royally... let's see how you fix it... no don't you look at me for help, Mr. Dumbass... you made this mess, now clean it up" looks that every man has seen.

"Uh, no, sweety. Sometimes we have to do things that aren't fun, but they're important too."

"But why?"

"Well, uh, because sometimes, even if something isn't fun, we have to do it."

"Like what?"

"Like cleaning up your toys, or brushing your teeth."

"Oh. OK."

See? This is why I don't read parenting books. All they do it put nonsense into my head that I then try to apply, and end up tripping over myself. Next time I may not be so lucky, and end up telling her that she should never eat vegetables or something.

TRS: Chutes, Sweetness, and Skating

Today's song selection is 100% pure grade cheese. When I ran through the music catalog of my mind for songs related to skating or ice, I came up with two: Skater Boy by Avril Lavigne (which is actually about skateboarding, not ice skating) and this one (which came to mind because, tragically, it was in more than one concert's play list that I performed when in high school).

Theme From Ice Castles - Melissa Manchester

Friday night found us doing our usual "family game night". This week's game was Chutes and Ladders (which, incidentally, is mine, but not from my childhood; the munchkin gave it to me for Christmas this year "so we could play it togedder"):


according to MTM the snakes on Snakes and Ladders were "too frightening"
Saturday morning started at 1:40am. I so wish I was kidding about that, but I am not. The munchkin awoke at that time and would not go down alone, so I brought her into the twin bed (she has since relocted herself from her "big girl bed" to the crib mattress) where she proceeded to toss, turn, and doze until about 4:40am. From then until 5:50am she repeatedly asked if it was time to go downstairs and watch Treehouse. I relented and we got up for good at 5:50am, where I dozed on the couch while she enjoyed Bo On The Go and Super Why (the whole CBC site is flash, so click through to see the preview videos; both are excellent shows for toddlers).

We eventually made it to library music class, where there were a bunch of new faces, but it was still fun. We even got to play with the cat puppet (her favourite because it meows) and a pink maraca:


When we got home, MTM was still out doing errands, so we settled at the table for a snack. This was one of those episodes in your life where you feel like your heart may just burst from the sheer joy of being a parent. We sat there and the munchkin proceeded to inform me of the following facts:

"I like spending time wiff you, Daddy."

"We're sharing food because we love each udder."

"I like it when you don't go to work." (ouch...)

"I like going to music class wiff you."

"You're my best friend, Daddy."

I'll give you a moment to go brush your teeth from all the sweetness.

After lunch, we made meatloaf:


Saturday evening saw MTM and I settle in to watch Bad Lieutenant (which I got in a Harvey Keitel double feature with Reservoir Dogs, and had seen years ago at a repertory cinema). It was as brilliant and disturbing as I remembered (and warned MTM).

Sunday morning we got up and went out for breakfast as a family. The munchkin even drank milk:


Yes, that would be a coffee creamer (2% milk); we take our dairy intake where we can get it, people.
That afternoon, we the munchkin had a new experience. We went to an outdoor rink, armed only with hand-me-down bob skates from the 1930s because MTM was pretty sure that unlike every other rink in town she would be able to be on the ice in her boots. We arrived and learned that skates were, in fact, mandatory, from a nice teenager who was working as a sort of "safety girl" at the rink. She offered to take the munchkin herself, but the munchkin refused.

However, as we were loading her back into her car seat, the munchkin said, "I want to skate wiff [safety girl]," and after repeatedly clarifying that neither Mommy nor Daddy would be out there with her, she continued to assert her desire to skate. We put her in the bob skates, passed her off to the (clearly very adept) teenager, and watched with awe as the munchkin slid (and fell) and stepped (and fell) and stumbled (and fell) with a huge smile on her face.




Afterwards, we went out and got MTM some skates, as well as an updated pair of bob skates for the munchkin (since the ones we had kept falling off because the straps were too awkward). We decided against the advice of [safety girl] (who actually remarked that the munchkin was probably ready for regular skates based on what she observed of her ability - apparently in between the falling, the kid can actually glide, which supposedly makes skating much less challenging).

I suspect this will not be the last time ice skating is mentioned here or at MTM's place.

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There is also a new Daditorial post up, where I look at how Toronto schools aren't safe.