The Parent Blogger's Network provided me with a copy of the book Your Child's Strengths: Discover Them, Develop Them, Use Them by Jenifer Fox to review. Having read it, I would recommend it as a thought-provoking read for any parent or teacher.
The book is a well written amalgamation of explanations, anecdotes, and instructions and/or suggestions related to The Strengths Movement.
Continue reading at Reviews From The Dad Side
Describe an incident where you or someone was wronged, in what would normally be considered outside of the social norms, and how you reacted, how you wish you reacted and what is possibly the best way to inform these idiots that they screwed up if that is even possible.
Nearly Lost You by Screaming Trees
It was my first job out of school. I spent the first five months working on various projects before I got "banished" to a plant support contract at an automotive manufacturer (due to someone else screwing something up on a project and me, since I was the low man on the totem pole, being the scape goat). The support job was supposed to last four months.
Seven months later I was returned to the consulting engineering office of my employer (the previous seven months having been spent in a high-pressure, profanity-laden, aggression-fueled work environment where the only means of survival was to become "one of them"). In my first year, I spent more time immersed in automotive culture than consulting engineering culture, and it showed in my day-to-day behaviour.
Instead of taking me aside or trying to work with me on the differences, I was called into a meeting with no time for preparation. I walked into an ambush: my supervisor, the VP, and the head of HR were across from me at a table. The message was simple: "Your behaviour is unacceptable. You make everyone uncomfortable. You don't respect anyone. You are a bad, bad employee. You are broken and need fixing."
I sat and listened in silence. When they were finished, I walked back to my cubicle, grabbed my stuff, and walked towards the door. On my way out, I said to my project manager (and friend), "They don't know how lucky they are that you are my PM right now." My supervisor went to my PM afterwards to bring him up to speed. My PM laughed and told him that the only reason he didn't have my resignation was because of my unwillingness to hang my PM out to dry.
Coincidentally, the following week was my annual review. The company policy was that the employee and the supervisor complete the same form and submit them to HR for review. The supervisor would then meet with the employee to discuss the usual review stuff (salary, expectations, et cetera).
The day after I submitted my review, the head of HR came to my cubicle and asked to speak with me. I followed her to the same boardroom where the "performance management session" (the ambush) happened the previous week. She wanted to discuss my self-evaluation with me, since I gave myself either "unsatisfactory" or "needs improvement" ratings in all categories (i.e. no "satisfactory", "excellent" or "outstanding").
After an hour of her asking me if that was how I really felt, and me indicating in the affirmative, and justifying the ratings with concrete examples from the ambush, I asked, "What do I have to say to make this meeting over?"
"Well, I want you to change your self-evaluation."
"OK. What do you want it to say?"
"No, no. I want you to want to change it."
"And what if I don't want to change it?"
"Then I will have to accept the evaluation as-is."
"Then I guess this meeting is over." And I walked out.
The next day my supervisor came to me and told me that he had expected my self-evaluation to be the way it was, and that he completely understood. He also wanted to explain that the head of HR went outside her area of responsibility in talking to me without him present, and apologized. I responded that I didn't care, so long as she didn't bug me again. From that moment on, my cubicle literally became an HR-free zone. No one from that department called me, came to me, or anything. It was all handled through my supervisor.
Looking back, the only thing I wish I would have done differently is to have asked the HR head something to the effect of, "What did you expect me to do after you spanked me in public?" or "You made your bed, now lie in it."
In an ideal situation, I would have stood up for myself in the initial session/ambush, pointing out that they put me in the environment, literally abandoned me there for seven months with no support from my colleagues (even in areas where I was unqualified; I taught myself more in those months because of their neglect than I did in all my years in school). I would have argued that I was a monster of their creation, and that they shared responsibility for what came about. And finally, I would have suggested that instead of a three-on-one ambush, a one-on-one discussion about the situation would have been far more effective.
This post was composed as part of this week's Hump Day Hmm, hosted by Julie Pippert at Using My Words. You can visit her blog to see more perspectives on this subject.
I also have a new Daditorial up, where I look at the recent member's bill for RESP tax credits.
3 comment:
It always intrigues me how poor management can be and how surprised they are by how "unsatisfactory" their employees are in those cases.
The managers I respect the most are the ones, well, like the geometry teacher I had: they realize they need to constructively manage and that it is a dual responsibility. That means constructive support, enabling to succeed, listening, talking and so forth.
It really sounds like an ambush (all of them? had to be there for an initial discussion?) and unconstructive criticism, which to me basically means just listing out what's wrong and saying unhelpful "do better."
However it also sounds like you learned from it, on a variety of levels.
Aside: Have not heard the Screaming Trees in ages!
Ugh...I had reviews like that. Hearing stuff like that reminds me so much that when I do go back to work, it won't be in a traditional environment. :)
I think you handled that situation beautifully. I'm not sure I would have had the guts to do the same.
It does sound like you learned from the experience -- as in, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Good for you.
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