Sober by Tool
Back in November, I mentioned that all was not well at work. I didn't mention it again, but that doesn't mean things improved; it just meant I had stopped complaining about it.
The brief version of the story is this: someone in a position of power did something that was not only unethical but illegal to me, with malicious intent. Unfortunately, even though the owner agreed with me, they could not remove the other party due to circumstances I cannot get into here. I was angry and hurt, but most of all I was worried that someone who was in a position of power "had it in for me".
Had I been single, I would have dropped my resignation the moment it happened. But as my joke about how old I am (I often kid around and say that one is as old as the number of people who are screwed if you die - a single guy is younger than a married guy, a married DINK is younger than a guy with a kid, et cetera) goes, I couldn't just up and leave. There were too many other people depending on me.
Instead, I came home and tried to come to terms with it, with MTM trying to calm me down and convince me to not act rashly. After a few quick calls and some brief stints on a couple job search engines, I made a deal with my wife: I would hold off on leaving until January, when my annual review was due, and see what played out with that. I was frustrated and resented the fact that I had to stay in a situation that was at the best of times tensely awkward. I felt guilty for that resentment, and as much as I would love to tell you that I told my wife how I felt, I didn't (but she knew anyways). I "sucked it up" and did my part in our partnership (bringing in the money).
The truth is that, setting this one individual aside (which is impossible to do in reality, but for argument's sake it works), I have a pretty sweet work situation. I come and go as I please (for the most part), and can work from home and flex my time to suit my family's schedule. So, finding another job that offered all that flexibility wasn't going to be an easy task.
Over the past few months, I've actually said on more than one occasion that my boss is lucky, because "there but for the grace of MTM" I would have been long gone (and at the risk of some of you being offended by my arrogance, my departure would leave a sucking chest wound in that company for months if not years).
Sometimes, it would appear, things happen for a reason. Because I gave it a little time, I was still employed at the same place yesterday, and yesterday, everything changed. I came in to discover that the offending individual had resigned on Friday. Ironically my annual review was also yesterday. (It went well - I got a salary bump for more than double the cost of living rate change.)
Where does that leave me? As I said above, aside from that individual I had a good deal at my job, and combining their departure with a salary bump (more money never hurts) makes a good situation better. So, from a work perspective, all is well. However, I still feel like an ass for resenting my situation in the interim. And that is going to take more time to correct.
9 shared their side:
Oh yay! Glad things worked out. I have fantasies where I up and quit my job in a big dramatic ordeal where I point out all the obvious flaws and idiocy of many in my department. But the reality is when you provide for your family, you have to be really careful which bridges you play with matches on.
Glad you held off.
That's wonderful. I'm thrilled for you.
And, even though our work situations are different (and I probably wouldn't leave a gaping hole if I left), as you know I went through some pretty crap stuff at work last year.
Like you, I had to stay and let things play out. And, in the end it was okay.
But, really, I don't think you need to feel bad about hating your job for awhile. I think it's pretty normal. I don't know anyone who loves their job ALL the time.
Can I just tell you ... someone I HATED quit working with me, and as great as I thought it would be without that person - it was about a million times better.
Life has a funny way of working out, doesn't it? I'm really glad to hear that things eventually worked out in your favour.
Wow, what a happy turnout in the end. It gives me hope. :)
Sorry it sucked rocks for a while---and I think it's okay to be unhappy in an unhappy situation, and to be angry and resentful about injustice. That's human. In the end, you did keep on at your job and I suspect you continued quality work. That's what counts: you acted responsibly and maturely, regardless.
That's class, right there.
I'd agree with you if you'd acted passive-aggressively, sabotaged, undercut, didn't meet deadlines, etc. In other words, acted angry and like a short-timer.
So yahoo again that it has worked out.
Glad things worked out for you! Uncomfortable work situations of whatever sort are always, well, uncomfortable... As I know. I'm impressed with your lack of ranting on the blog - I can never seem to resist ;)
But - once again - so happy everything worked out!
The last time I had a crap boss, I went on paternity leave and never went back.
Rock on, dude.
That is fantastic.
Don't be too hard on yourself...it's all water under the bridge now isn't it?
Congratulations. May it all be smooth sailing from here on out.
In the end...it's gotta make you feel good.
Congratulations for lasting it out.
Oh excellent! I'm glad it worked out, and the other guy is gone.
It sucks when people in power mess with you. That completely happened at my last job (I ended up pissing off a senior member because he didn't like the numbers I provided and wanted "different" numbers. Ahem.) It's great that the other guy is gone. A good situation is hard to find (and the money doesn't hurt either ;)
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