Today's song has absolutely nothing to do with the post subject. It's just a song I like that I thought I'd share with you all.
Another Horsedreamer's Blues by Counting Crows
In the past, I have
Occasionally, we do things to compensate for my lack of presence. This week, there are two.
On Wednesday, the munchkin and my wife came for lunch at my office. The munchkin was so excited to come and eat at my desk and visit with me. She ate some of my lunch, and she ate some of what MTM packed for herself, and she ate a little bit of her own lunch. We chatted about what I was doing at work ("drawing pictures on the computer" - I was designing a user interface) and what they were going to do that afternoon. It was brief - maybe 45 minutes total - but it broke up my day and was fun for her and for me.
This morning, MTM is sleeping in while I hang out with the munchkin. I've got a morning meeting at a client near the house, so I'm not driving into the office, choosing instead to work from home (effectively, keep an eye open for work emails while the munchkin and I play). Following the meeting, I've got a bit of work to finish up, and then I'm free for the day with my girls. While I don't do it as often as I'd like, I try to work from home once in a while to get some more munchkin time.
Ultimately, nothing will make up for all the time I miss while I'm at work. And while the logical side of my brain tells me that it's a fact of life, it doesn't make it any easier. But lunches like Wednesday's and mornings like today help, a little.
11 comment:
I've kind of started to realize that my son appreciates the time he has with it, and though I recognize that he spends more hours with his daycare than with me, it doesn't seem to matter. I think it's about being totally present with your child when you are with them. You know - quality over quantity. That said, I like the moments of extra mommy time I can squeeze in. Last week I was working from home while Matt was sick. I had to work, and he felt like crap, so we set the laptop up in the living room and he watched Peter Pan while I worked. I loved that he just cuddled up with me, and at the funny points made me stop working to watch.
(I would never do this on a regular basis, but it was a really nice day and a half)
Sometimes you make me feel so guilty for not feeling guilty about working! :)
You so genuinely miss your daughter when you work - and I feel like a total douche because I don't.
I mean, that sounded like I'm Mommy Dearest. I do miss her, but I LIKE missing her. I like having my own time and then coming home to her. I feel it makes me a better mother.
Then again, it's only three days a week I am away from her, so maybe I just have a perfect balance.
And Mike also works full time so, we send almost the same amount of time with her (he is home at 230 pm),so maybe I feel better because it's balanced.
Anyway, I think its so sweet how much you love your girls and relish the time with them when you do get it.
And I am an asshole. LOL.
I frequently take for granted the luxury of being home with the kids. Thanks for the reminder that not every one is so lucky...
I think my husband could identify with every word. And when he happens to be here, they cling hard to him. I think it's cool he gets to be the Special Parent, but in another way I think it exacerbates his feeling of guilt. They got to have a Daddy-Daughters day last weekend that I think they all really enjoyed (while I was at MDCQII).
It's great how attached you are to her. You're setting such a great dynamic.
And meanwhile, after dropping the kids off at school...all the mommies sigh in relief. LOL
Good song.
You're not alone my friend. I've written about the aching guilt and the broken heart of being a working Dad too. Those surprise lunches really do numb the pain for a little while don't they? Because I have no governor on my paternal engine to regulate the guilt that builds up during the week, when Saturday rolls around I try to expunge my guilt through a form of extreme über parenting (ordinarily seen in cases of divorce or living on Long Island) that involves overindulging even the most miniscule whims of your child(ren). Thankfully, Kathleen works Saturday mornings leaving me free reign to implement my compensatory style of parenting. Unfortunately, Kathleen works Saturday mornings leaving me free reign to implement my compensatory style of parenting.
It does help, and I guarantee you that they are among the moments with you that the Munchkin will remember.
You're such a wonderfully sensitive father. I think most fathers are HAPPY they're at work (like many mothers!). I love that she came to the office for lunch. Love how it melts your heart. :)
No matter how much time you spend with your family, it is never enough.
It's good that you can appreciate the short times together.
Here's to more.
I get "the guilt" daily. It's tough!
My daughter does come in my office every few days and it's great. She acts like she runs the place.
I should ask her to give me a raise.
BTW, I've tagged you for a meme if you have some spare time.
Thank you. A good reminder for this SAHM that life isn't always greener on the other side (in this case Daddy going to work).
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