TDS: Why I Don't Read Parenting Books

Britney Spears - Oops, I Did It Again

On Sunday, while the munchkin napped, MTM was reading one of the million parenting books that create a structural hazard on her nightstand (she does book reviews for a website) while I watched some football. Since she knows I am about as likely to read a parenting book as I am to shave with our chef's knife, she will often pull pearls of wisdom from her readings and share them with me in the hopes that it will put me in a mood to ponder. This time was no different.

"You know, this book talks about the huge difference between 'praise' and 'encouragement'. I think we praise her too much."

"Uh huh."

"Like, 'praise' is: 'you did a great job,' while 'encouragement' is more 'did you have fun doing that?' You know what I mean?"

"Uh huh."

Sunday evening, while we were eating dinner, we were talking to the munchkin about her skating experience when she said, "I didn't skate very well."

"What do you mean, munchkin?"

"I fell a lot. I didn't skate very well."

"Sweetheart, you skated very well," I said. "Falling is part of learning to skate." MTM chimed in with similar sentiments.

Then it occurred to me, This is praise, isn't it? Crap. I should encourage her. (Sometimes, I try to show that I was listening and that I am willing to put one of her nutty ideas into action.)

"Munchkin, did you like skating today?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Then that's all that matters. If you had fun, and you enjoyed yourself then that's all that's important. As long as it's fun, you should do it." (I bet you can see where this is going.)

"And if it's not fun, I won't do it," she replied, demonstrating her application of logic. At this point, MTM gave me one of those trademark wife "boy did you just fuck up royally... let's see how you fix it... no don't you look at me for help, Mr. Dumbass... you made this mess, now clean it up" looks that every man has seen.

"Uh, no, sweety. Sometimes we have to do things that aren't fun, but they're important too."

"But why?"

"Well, uh, because sometimes, even if something isn't fun, we have to do it."

"Like what?"

"Like cleaning up your toys, or brushing your teeth."

"Oh. OK."

See? This is why I don't read parenting books. All they do it put nonsense into my head that I then try to apply, and end up tripping over myself. Next time I may not be so lucky, and end up telling her that she should never eat vegetables or something.