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Over the course of the holiday break, the munchkin has had a few good lines. I thought that I would share some of them with you today.
While doing our round-robin of stocking opening (yes, MTM makes us wrap every stocking gift... no, I don't think it's a good idea... no, I won't tell her to stop) the munchkin originally kept saying "Mommy, is it my turn now?" But after a while, she picked up on the pattern that I was before her, and started saying, "Daddy, it's your turn to open now!" in an effort to get to hers more quickly (even if it was MTM's turn).
One morning I was sitting at the kitchen table playing a solitaire game I had received in my stocking called Tantrix (seriously, you should check this game out) and I was really enjoying myself. I wanted to tell MTM that I appreciated the gift, so I exclaimed, "Wow, I love this game!" Without missing a beat, the munchkin turned to me and said, "No Daddy, you love us!"
Another morning, while MTM slept in, I hung out with the munchkin. Admittedly, the first hour was spent with me fading in and out in front of Treehouse (give me a break - the kid gets up at 6am, regardless of whether or not I'm on vacation), but after that we turned off the brain sucker and played. Out of nowhere, she provided one of her toddler-soliloquys that encompass the moment and demonstrate a deeper level of understanding than parents give their children: "Daddy, you like spending time wiff me and you like playing wiff me because you love me. You love me and you like playing wiff me. Sank you Daddy. I love you Daddy."
I've also got a Daditorial up, where I do a year in review, for those interested.
TRS: Christmas By The Numbers
Whew. We're back from our whirlwind Christmas of 2007. I hope you all had a safe and fun time, and that it continues into next week and the new year. I've more or less caught up on reading all my blogging friends, but many of you didn't receive comments in my attempt to catch up quickly. But don't take it too personally, OK? I'll be back to my regularly scheduled posting and commenting self next week (once I return to work and can goof off... the munchkin is a much more strict and demanding boss than my employer... the only thing that is getting you this post is a Dora musical DVD).
I've got many anecdotes that will trickle in as the month of January progresses, but for now I offer you Christmas by the numbers, 2007 edition:
I think that gives you a pretty good picture of our Christmas. For all the negative stuff, it was pretty good (sleeping issues aside). And like some bloggers have already said, the first Christmas where your kid truly "gets it" is an amazing thing.
I've got many anecdotes that will trickle in as the month of January progresses, but for now I offer you Christmas by the numbers, 2007 edition:
- 133 photos taken
- 14 video clips recorded
- 875 kilometers in two road trips
1 light up Dora (an impulse purchased made by MTM the day before Christmas Eve while the munchkin and I napped; apparently knocked down repeatedly by the pharmacy manager until she'd take it out of the store)
- 2 hours of struggling to get the munchkin to sleep the night before Christmas Eve
- 3 hours of assembly (apparently while Santa delivers, some adult assembly - has anyone tried to hammer into hard plastic quietly before? - is required)
3 Christmas stockings (filled with nearly 100 presents) that were opened Christmas Eve morning in an attempt to expedite Christmas morning
- 75 iterations of, "Is it my turn yet, Daddy? Can I open anudder pesent, Mommy?"
- 3 "stick in water and watch it grow" things (anyone got a better name?)
- 3 Dora items (bandages, chapstick, stickers)
- 6 tubes/bottles of mint-scented personal hygiene products (for MTM)
- over 20 stamps (for MTM)
- 2 mini Lego kits (not for the munchkin)
3 pairs of Dora panties (one of which had to be put on immediately after receiving them)
- 5 hours with my inlaws that when compared with the 3 days from last year were a picnic
- 1 totally cool emergency flashlight/radio (the kind that you crank to power) that includes a cell phone charger (no seriously... it's actually the first gift my MIL has gotten me that was a total home run)
- 2 gifts for the munchkin that were dangerously close to something we had bought her (because my MIL refuses to discuss her purchases with MTM)
- 1 backtrack to the inlaws to retrieve something (forgotten potty seat)
- 1 hour of Elmo's Christmas countdown that included 2 guys from the Sopranos acting as Bert and Ernie (click the link, it is SO worth it)
- 3 hours of struggling to get the munchkin to sleep Christmas Eve (that ended with MTM in bed with her)
- 4 hours of struggling with Future Shop's poorly prepared servers in an effort to bypass the Boxing Day lineups and hit their sale Christmas Eve (final result: all desired items are ordered and expected next week sometime; my blood pressure on the other hand...)
1 BIG kitchen (as per a specific request to Santa) that includes more features than the kitchens I had in my various apartments in university
- 1 Dora chair (the opening of which was the epitome of the Christmas Day memory-maker... there was literally paper flying everywhere)
- 2 magnetic alphabet kits (one for the car, one for the house... can you tell my wife is a Kindergarten teacher?)
- two gift bags with nothing more than a piece of paper inside (I'll let MTM fill you in on those later)
- 1 gift for me from the munchkin that included a cane cane she wanted to "share wiff Daddy" and a board game she wanted to play with me (not to mention a Stormtrooper action figure)
- 2 hour wait at my parents' house for my sister and her family to show up (they live 2 hours closer to them than we do, and we rushed our Christmas to be there roughly when they arrived, only to discover they said "screw it" this year... grr... and yes, this is the same one who brought her flu-ridden child a few weeks prior)
1 wooden doll house (one older cousin to play with you non-stop sold separately)
- 2 hideous dresses from Grandma, neither of which can be returned because the little shop has policies similar to a certain regime that dominated Germany in the earlier part of this century
- 2 blocked toilets on boxing day (both of which unblocked by yours truly, neither of which were blocked by yours truly)
I think that gives you a pretty good picture of our Christmas. For all the negative stuff, it was pretty good (sleeping issues aside). And like some bloggers have already said, the first Christmas where your kid truly "gets it" is an amazing thing.
From Our House To Yours...
Since this will likely be my last opportunity to post for a while, allow me to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas, or a very safe and happy holiday season. If you're having trouble getting in the spirit, I think this video may help you:
Note to those reading via feeds: there should be a video above this. If there isn't, kindly click through. You won't regret it.
A few years back I made a mix CD for our Christmas roadtrip. I took a different approach and instead of mixing songs I mixed performers only. What follows is sixteen different versions of one of my favourite songs: Carol Of The Bells. I really enjoy the Mr. Mackey and Trans Siberian versions.
TDS: It's Not A Competition But...
Last night, while cuddling in our room shortly before the munchkin's bedtime, the following conversation was overheard:
Munchkin: Daddy, I love you to the moon.
Daddy: Aww... you're so sweet! I love you to the moon, and back.
Munchkin: Mommy, I love you to the ball.
Mommy: You love me to that ball in the corner?
Munchkin: Yup.
Mommy: But that isn't very far! You love Daddy to the moon!
Munchkin: Mommy, I love you to the ball.
I know it's not a competition, but it was nice to come out on top, just that once.
Munchkin: Daddy, I love you to the moon.
Daddy: Aww... you're so sweet! I love you to the moon, and back.
Munchkin: Mommy, I love you to the ball.
Mommy: You love me to that ball in the corner?
Munchkin: Yup.
Mommy: But that isn't very far! You love Daddy to the moon!
Munchkin: Mommy, I love you to the ball.
I know it's not a competition, but it was nice to come out on top, just that once.
THS: My World Of WTF?!?
There is a book in the munchkin's collection called My World Of Color that irks MTM and I every time we read it. But we can't decide what's worse: the stupid descriptions of the colours, or the horrible lack of consistent rhyme and meter. Below are some examples (images can be clicked on to enlarge):
Yes, that would be the author of Goodnight Moon. Sadly, this is not Goodnight Moon by any stretch of the imagination.
"Red as red"? Well, that's useful.
Bumblebees are orange? Really?
Wait... are the stripes on bees yellow or orange?
Purple coal? Am I the only one who hasn't seen this?
"Black as trees"? So coal is purple and trees are black? (Don't even get me started on the creepy moles!)
"Gray as gray socks." Gee, thanks. Now I know exactly what gray is.
But what if I eat a white fish on a blue dish? Would it not appear more white by contrast?
And yes, I have finally gone to full feeds. I'll be curious to see the impact on my feed subscription numbers as well as my comment/hit counts.
TWS: And Two Became One - Answers
Before I begin, I want to offer a huge thank you to everyone who participated yesterday. Congratulations to Laural and Mama Tulip, who each got 6/12 correct. And now, for the answers...
Duplicates
Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
What can I say? Yeah, it's a chick CD. But it's a good chick CD.
U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind
This CD came out when we were first dating. I bought a copy and MTM swiped it because she loves U2almost as much as I do, so I bought myself another copy.
Tragically Hip - Day For Night
As a rule, I loathe The Hip. I only own this CD for Nautical Disaster (the lyrics are haunting... check them out).
Bush - Razorblade Suitcase
I was as shocked as you were that MTM had this in her collection. Seriously.
Multi-tasking Mommy
Shania Twain - Come On Over
Northern Ontario Hillbilly Slut Music. Anyone have a better description?
Britney Spears - Baby One More Time
In her defense, this was pre-married, pre-pregnant, pre-shaved head, pre-druggie Britney, when she was just a bad role model for young girls.
Armageddon The Album
Apparently it's all about the Aerosmith song.
Much Dance 1997
When asked about this: "What?!? I like dance music! Sue me!"
SciFi Dad
Rob Zombie - American Made Music To Strip By
This was a double reverse psychology... most of you probably figured it was too easy to be mine and went with MTM.
Jesus Christ Superstar Soundtrack
Yep, I own it. And I can recite most of both discs from memory.
Tori Amos - Crucify
She covers Zeppelin, The Stones, and Nirvana. And she wears onions.
Christina Aguilera - Christina Aguilera
That's right folks, I picked right in the Britney/Christina battles of the late 1990's.
Throwback Thursday
Another batch of old posts that bring you into the beginning of December last year:
TTS: The Disconnect - where I take a look at the division of labour between a SAHM and a WOHD
TDS: It's Good To Be The Daddy - an update about my situation with the munchkin
TNS: Three News Stories To Think About
TRS: Yay Fooball! - a recap of a Saturday afternoon spent watching football
TRS: "Maiwy Kissmess" - a recap of the local Santa Parade
TTS: Is Pretty A Four Letter Word? - or, is it wrong to tell your daughter she's pretty?
TNS: The "Supernanny" Program
TWS: Mommypalooza Day 1 - the history of Mommypalooza
TWS: Mommypalooza Day 2 - where I tell you how amazing my wife is
TWS: Mommypalooza Day 3
TRS: Mommypalooza Recap - a birthday recap
TNS: Today In The News
TDS: 20 Month Reflections - a time capsule of the munchkin at 20 months
TTS: Job Is Job - where I talk about work
Duplicates
Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
What can I say? Yeah, it's a chick CD. But it's a good chick CD.
U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind
This CD came out when we were first dating. I bought a copy and MTM swiped it because she loves U2
Tragically Hip - Day For Night
As a rule, I loathe The Hip. I only own this CD for Nautical Disaster (the lyrics are haunting... check them out).
Bush - Razorblade Suitcase
I was as shocked as you were that MTM had this in her collection. Seriously.
Multi-tasking Mommy
Shania Twain - Come On Over
Northern Ontario Hillbilly Slut Music. Anyone have a better description?
Britney Spears - Baby One More Time
In her defense, this was pre-married, pre-pregnant, pre-shaved head, pre-druggie Britney, when she was just a bad role model for young girls.
Armageddon The Album
Apparently it's all about the Aerosmith song.
Much Dance 1997
When asked about this: "What?!? I like dance music! Sue me!"
SciFi Dad
Rob Zombie - American Made Music To Strip By
This was a double reverse psychology... most of you probably figured it was too easy to be mine and went with MTM.
Jesus Christ Superstar Soundtrack
Yep, I own it. And I can recite most of both discs from memory.
Tori Amos - Crucify
She covers Zeppelin, The Stones, and Nirvana. And she wears onions.
Christina Aguilera - Christina Aguilera
That's right folks, I picked right in the Britney/Christina battles of the late 1990's.
Throwback Thursday
Another batch of old posts that bring you into the beginning of December last year:
TTS: The Disconnect - where I take a look at the division of labour between a SAHM and a WOHD
TDS: It's Good To Be The Daddy - an update about my situation with the munchkin
TNS: Three News Stories To Think About
TRS: Yay Fooball! - a recap of a Saturday afternoon spent watching football
TRS: "Maiwy Kissmess" - a recap of the local Santa Parade
TTS: Is Pretty A Four Letter Word? - or, is it wrong to tell your daughter she's pretty?
TNS: The "Supernanny" Program
TWS: Mommypalooza Day 1 - the history of Mommypalooza
TWS: Mommypalooza Day 2 - where I tell you how amazing my wife is
TWS: Mommypalooza Day 3
TRS: Mommypalooza Recap - a birthday recap
TNS: Today In The News
TDS: 20 Month Reflections - a time capsule of the munchkin at 20 months
TTS: Job Is Job - where I talk about work
TWS: And Two Become One...
No, this isn't a post about our wedding day, and it isn't a post about the first time we, uh, y'know either. Today's post is about that magical moment in a relationship when two people move in together, and their CD collections merge into that communal one where Neil Diamond and Disturbed sit side by side. MTM was never a huge CD collector (as compared to yours truly, who had what could kindly be called "a problem" when it came to music), so our merge mostly involved inserting the occasional non-SFD disc into the alphabetized shelves.
There were some interesting discoveries. We had four CDs in common (I think in total she brought 20 into the collection, so that number isn't as low as some would think). However, what four we shared isn't exactly what you'd expect. So, I thought I'd have some fun today, and give you a list of 12 CDs that we have in our collection: the four we share, four that were hers, and four that were mine. Your job is to figure out which ones fall into each category, and let me know your guesses in the comments. I will post the correct answers later this week.
Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Shania Twain - Come On Over
Britney Spears - Baby One More Time
Tori Amos - Crucify
Christina Aguilera - Christina Aguilera
U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind
Tragically Hip - Day For Night
Rob Zombie - American Made Music To Strip By
Bush - Razorblade Suitcase
Armageddon The Album
Much Dance 1997
Jesus Christ Superstar Soundtrack
There were some interesting discoveries. We had four CDs in common (I think in total she brought 20 into the collection, so that number isn't as low as some would think). However, what four we shared isn't exactly what you'd expect. So, I thought I'd have some fun today, and give you a list of 12 CDs that we have in our collection: the four we share, four that were hers, and four that were mine. Your job is to figure out which ones fall into each category, and let me know your guesses in the comments. I will post the correct answers later this week.
Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Shania Twain - Come On Over
Britney Spears - Baby One More Time
Tori Amos - Crucify
Christina Aguilera - Christina Aguilera
U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind
Tragically Hip - Day For Night
Rob Zombie - American Made Music To Strip By
Bush - Razorblade Suitcase
Armageddon The Album
Much Dance 1997
Jesus Christ Superstar Soundtrack
TNS: All Brief Edition (And A Review)
Today I'm doing things a little differently than usual. There won't be a "feature" news story here; just The Brief Side to follow after the initial part. I've got a parenting book that I'm reviewing today, and I wanted to share an excerpt here:
You can read the review at Reviews From The Dad Side or Daditorial. It's the same review at both places; I've just cross-posted it. (And if you need more incentive, there's a giveaway.)
The Brief Side
A new study has found that children with mothers in prison are 2.5 times more likely to end up in jail than those with incarcerated fathers.
According to an Australian report, 25% of the total family income is spent on raising kids to the age of 21.
A word of caution: with the stress of the holiday season, child abuse is more likely than other times of the year.
A study out of New Zealand has found that 75% of all parents physically discipline their kids.
Here's something that is always useful: ten ways to encourage your child to read.
Finally, a thought-provoking piece out of Washington, where four kids were suspended for posting flyers about two juvenile sex offenders who attended their school.
Dadditude is a funny, entertaining, honest, and irreverent look at parenting through the eyes of an older father. It is the story of one man's journey through the challenges of getting pregnant when both parents are in their mid to late forties, their subsequent success, and the rearing of that child through the first four years of life. The story is told with humour and anecdotes to prove the points he is trying to make.
You can read the review at Reviews From The Dad Side or Daditorial. It's the same review at both places; I've just cross-posted it. (And if you need more incentive, there's a giveaway.)
The Brief Side
A new study has found that children with mothers in prison are 2.5 times more likely to end up in jail than those with incarcerated fathers.
According to an Australian report, 25% of the total family income is spent on raising kids to the age of 21.
A word of caution: with the stress of the holiday season, child abuse is more likely than other times of the year.
A study out of New Zealand has found that 75% of all parents physically discipline their kids.
Here's something that is always useful: ten ways to encourage your child to read.
Finally, a thought-provoking piece out of Washington, where four kids were suspended for posting flyers about two juvenile sex offenders who attended their school.
TRS: Snowmageddon
We had a lot of fun in the SFD/MTM house this weekend. Do you want to hear about it? Too bad, I'm telling you anyway!
On Friday (after a day of working from home), since we weren't out of town, or busy with previous engagements, we reinstituted "family game night" with a rousing attempt at bingo with a toddler, which more or less involved her spinning the wheel and then randomly moving the markers as she saw fit:
Saturday morning, the munchkin woke me at 6am. Given that we were expecting a huge snowfall, I wasn't sure if I'd make it into the office Monday. Why does this matter? Because my company still lives in the dark ages may as well light my office with candles still pays me with a cheque, and it was ready on Friday (when, as I mentioned, I was working from home). So, at 6am on a Saturday morning, I packed my kid into the van and drove to my office. You'd think we were going to Disneyland, she was so excited.
After the office, we went out for breakfast. It was such a blast; she didn't even need the distraction of crayons. We just sat, and talked, and more or less hung out. And I'm not ashamed to say that the following exchange got my a little teary:
"Munchkin, what do you like the best: sausage or bacon?" (she always plays this game and opens with "what do you like the best")
"I like bacon and sausage."
Just like her Daddy.
Later that morning, we made cookies:
But they weren't ready soon enough:
On Sunday, in between snow removal sessions, we made a gingerbread house:
Well, we mostly decorated the house at least:
And here's the finished product:
That's right, I made cookies and a gingerbread house. Look at me, all domestic and stuff!
Oh, and what is "snowmageddon" you ask? It's this:
All in all, we had a really fun weekend. What was yours like?
THS: Keyword Madness IV
As always, these are actual search terms that have brought people to this blog.
diaper on your bum
As opposed to…?
diary of a mad blender
Dear Diary… today I pureed broccoli and squash and then put the mixture into chocolate cake… (No, wait… that's Jessica Seinfeld's diary.)
tim hortons coffee sucks
Tell me about it.
tonsillitis stupidity
Uh, OK. How about removing them with a rusty kitchen knife?
gifts for sci-fi dad
To my wife: next time, just ask me, sweety.
i hate jessica seinfeld
sick of dora
dora annoying
Preaching to the choir, man.
anatomical name for ball bag
S-c-r-o-t-u-m. Tales From The Dad Side: Entertaining and informative!
do i want my child to be aggressive or assertive
Aggressive. The assertive kid will always get knocked over by the aggressive one. (I kid, people. Some of those assertive kids are pretty big and therefore cannot be knocked over easily.)
pee swimwear
Eww.
feed the munchkin
OK sweetheart, but next time could you just leave me a note on the counter?
bamboozled diaper
Being bamboozled is never fun. Adding a diaper into the equation? That's just cruel.
talesfromthedadside.blogspot.com
Dude, that's the search box, not the address box.
bizarre story of dad who dated daughter
Now, what would be more interesting is a non-bizarre story about a dad dating his daughter.
should wife side with son in argument with father
Only if she's not going to get pissed when the father sides with his mother (i.e. her MIL) in an argument.
buy coca-cola polar bear marching band
Hey, whatever floats your boat, buddy.
licking mil's panties
Normally, I skip over these kinds of hits… but in this case I'll make an exception. What the hell is wrong with you people?!?
dora the explorer addiction
There is no cure. But, there is Diego, who is a lot like methadone to Dora's heroin: just as addictive, just not as destructive.
child misbehaves before and after weekends with dad
So, if it's both before and after, wouldn't that be all the time? And if so, then the rest of the week the child is with you. Just sayin'.
chocolate chip cookies using chick peas
Just.say.no.
canadian mudders
I wonder, is this someone looking for race horses that run well in wet conditions, or just someone who can spell "Canadian" correctly but not "mother"?
what kind of parenting style does king triton display?
You think someone's been watching a little too much Disney?
For those who want something less, uh, stupid, head over and check out my latest Daditorial, where I write about the Aqsa Parvez case.
diaper on your bum
As opposed to…?
diary of a mad blender
Dear Diary… today I pureed broccoli and squash and then put the mixture into chocolate cake… (No, wait… that's Jessica Seinfeld's diary.)
tim hortons coffee sucks
Tell me about it.
tonsillitis stupidity
Uh, OK. How about removing them with a rusty kitchen knife?
gifts for sci-fi dad
To my wife: next time, just ask me, sweety.
i hate jessica seinfeld
sick of dora
dora annoying
Preaching to the choir, man.
anatomical name for ball bag
S-c-r-o-t-u-m. Tales From The Dad Side: Entertaining and informative!
do i want my child to be aggressive or assertive
Aggressive. The assertive kid will always get knocked over by the aggressive one. (I kid, people. Some of those assertive kids are pretty big and therefore cannot be knocked over easily.)
pee swimwear
Eww.
feed the munchkin
OK sweetheart, but next time could you just leave me a note on the counter?
bamboozled diaper
Being bamboozled is never fun. Adding a diaper into the equation? That's just cruel.
talesfromthedadside.blogspot.com
Dude, that's the search box, not the address box.
bizarre story of dad who dated daughter
Now, what would be more interesting is a non-bizarre story about a dad dating his daughter.
should wife side with son in argument with father
Only if she's not going to get pissed when the father sides with his mother (i.e. her MIL) in an argument.
buy coca-cola polar bear marching band
Hey, whatever floats your boat, buddy.
licking mil's panties
Normally, I skip over these kinds of hits… but in this case I'll make an exception. What the hell is wrong with you people?!?
dora the explorer addiction
There is no cure. But, there is Diego, who is a lot like methadone to Dora's heroin: just as addictive, just not as destructive.
child misbehaves before and after weekends with dad
So, if it's both before and after, wouldn't that be all the time? And if so, then the rest of the week the child is with you. Just sayin'.
chocolate chip cookies using chick peas
Just.say.no.
canadian mudders
I wonder, is this someone looking for race horses that run well in wet conditions, or just someone who can spell "Canadian" correctly but not "mother"?
what kind of parenting style does king triton display?
You think someone's been watching a little too much Disney?
For those who want something less, uh, stupid, head over and check out my latest Daditorial, where I write about the Aqsa Parvez case.
TDS: Persistence
Lately, MTM has been out of the house for an extended period of time after I get home from work. Some days she's with us for dinner, some days she's not. Some days she makes it home for bedtime, others she isn't. What this boils down to is a lot of Daddy-daughter time; a lot more than I have been used to in the past.
Prior to this, I had been having some challenges with the munchkin as she preferred only Mommy and would wail if I tried to usurp MTM as the caregiver. We actually had to start using the phrase, "Daddy is your parent too," quite frequently to get her to understand that while MTM was the familiar parent, I was also available for bathing, toilet visits, book reading, and cuddles. It was so bad that I was actually apprehensive to have MTM go out before bedtime; not because I didn't think I could be a good parent, but rather because I feared the munchkin would completely lose her shit.
MTM believed that persistence would solve the problem, and in the end she was right. (See, for all the poking and prodding I do in posts like yesterday, I give her props too.) At first, it was exactly as I expected it: yelling, screaming, tears (and that was just from me). But over time things improved.
I originally approached the situation trying to keep everything as identical to her routine with MTM as possible, in an effort to utilize the familiarity breeds comfort theory. There's only one problem: I'm not MTM, and the munchkin knows this. I can't be certain, but I think on some level me doing things the exact same way made the munchkin feel like I was replacing MTM instead of parenting the munchkin. However, I'm not that intuitive; all I saw was the munchkin refusing something I knew MTM did. So, I changed it. I tried a different tactic and she seemed to agree. Maybe it was the illusion of control for her, I don't know. But whatever it was, it was working. Now we have our own little things that, while similar to MTM's routines, are different enough to be Daddy/munchkin things.
And this comfort has spread to other times as well. When she needs to use the potty, instead of a full-out meltdown because MTM is busy and cannot help her, she calmly comes to me and asks. This weekend, I watched her say to herself, "I need a cloff. My hands are dirty, and then out loud, "MOMMY!" But then she turned around and said, "Oh, hi Daddy. Can you please get me a cloff?" By the time MTM could attend to her, I had already gotten the cloth. It was a watershed moment; she realized, without being previously refused or told, that I was a reasonable substitute for MTM.
Damn, it felt good.
Throwback Thursday
I skipped doing the reposts during November because a) I was doing NaBloPoMo and figured you had enough content coming from here and b) I was doing NaBloPoMo and therefore had no more time to dedicate to blogging. I plan to catch up between now and the end of the year (and possibly complete the repost over the holiday break, but don't hold your breath). This week, I bring you up to the middle of November, 2006. You will notice a significant increase in output, courtesy of me doing NaBloPoMo last year.
TRS: Halloween Preparations - a recap of getting us and the munchkin ready for Halloween
TRS: Happy Halloleen! - a recap of Halloween with the munchkin
TTS: How Much Is Too Much? - some thoughts on the primary education system
TNS: Who Gets The Call? - "should severely disabled children be kept small?"
TRS: Saturday Night Special - a pukapalooza for the ages
TRS: More Weekend Stories - the non-puking part of our weekend
TNS: Prodigy Producing Prattle - does screen time impede development?
TTS: Difficult But Necessary - writing a will as a father
TDS: "We Have Learned To Imitoot You Exarktly"* - an evening with the munchkin
TNS: Lest We Forget - Remembrance Day, 2006
TRS: A Tale Of Two Shoppers - a recap of the hunt for a Christmas outfit
TTS: This Week's Problem - wherein I navel gaze about how tough it is to be a working father (again)
TDS: My Little Girl Is Growing Up - a collection of munchkin anecdotes and observations
Prior to this, I had been having some challenges with the munchkin as she preferred only Mommy and would wail if I tried to usurp MTM as the caregiver. We actually had to start using the phrase, "Daddy is your parent too," quite frequently to get her to understand that while MTM was the familiar parent, I was also available for bathing, toilet visits, book reading, and cuddles. It was so bad that I was actually apprehensive to have MTM go out before bedtime; not because I didn't think I could be a good parent, but rather because I feared the munchkin would completely lose her shit.
MTM believed that persistence would solve the problem, and in the end she was right. (See, for all the poking and prodding I do in posts like yesterday, I give her props too.) At first, it was exactly as I expected it: yelling, screaming, tears (and that was just from me). But over time things improved.
I originally approached the situation trying to keep everything as identical to her routine with MTM as possible, in an effort to utilize the familiarity breeds comfort theory. There's only one problem: I'm not MTM, and the munchkin knows this. I can't be certain, but I think on some level me doing things the exact same way made the munchkin feel like I was replacing MTM instead of parenting the munchkin. However, I'm not that intuitive; all I saw was the munchkin refusing something I knew MTM did. So, I changed it. I tried a different tactic and she seemed to agree. Maybe it was the illusion of control for her, I don't know. But whatever it was, it was working. Now we have our own little things that, while similar to MTM's routines, are different enough to be Daddy/munchkin things.
And this comfort has spread to other times as well. When she needs to use the potty, instead of a full-out meltdown because MTM is busy and cannot help her, she calmly comes to me and asks. This weekend, I watched her say to herself, "I need a cloff. My hands are dirty, and then out loud, "MOMMY!" But then she turned around and said, "Oh, hi Daddy. Can you please get me a cloff?" By the time MTM could attend to her, I had already gotten the cloth. It was a watershed moment; she realized, without being previously refused or told, that I was a reasonable substitute for MTM.
Damn, it felt good.
Throwback Thursday
I skipped doing the reposts during November because a) I was doing NaBloPoMo and figured you had enough content coming from here and b) I was doing NaBloPoMo and therefore had no more time to dedicate to blogging. I plan to catch up between now and the end of the year (and possibly complete the repost over the holiday break, but don't hold your breath). This week, I bring you up to the middle of November, 2006. You will notice a significant increase in output, courtesy of me doing NaBloPoMo last year.
TRS: Halloween Preparations - a recap of getting us and the munchkin ready for Halloween
TRS: Happy Halloleen! - a recap of Halloween with the munchkin
TTS: How Much Is Too Much? - some thoughts on the primary education system
TNS: Who Gets The Call? - "should severely disabled children be kept small?"
TRS: Saturday Night Special - a pukapalooza for the ages
TRS: More Weekend Stories - the non-puking part of our weekend
TNS: Prodigy Producing Prattle - does screen time impede development?
TTS: Difficult But Necessary - writing a will as a father
TDS: "We Have Learned To Imitoot You Exarktly"* - an evening with the munchkin
TNS: Lest We Forget - Remembrance Day, 2006
TRS: A Tale Of Two Shoppers - a recap of the hunt for a Christmas outfit
TTS: This Week's Problem - wherein I navel gaze about how tough it is to be a working father (again)
TDS: My Little Girl Is Growing Up - a collection of munchkin anecdotes and observations
TWS: Questions
"Which colour do you like best?"
"They're all blue. All five of them."
"But which one do you like best?"
"The blue."
"Do you want chicken fingers or steak for dinner?"
"If it's green chicken nuggets, steak. If it's normal chicken, steak."
"But I already thawed chicken."
"Do these pants make my ass look big?"
"No."
"Are you sure? I feel like my ass looks big in them."
"No."
"Really?"
"Listen, after seven years together, I'm not stupid enough to tell you your ass looks big under any circumstances, so you can just stop trying to trap me."
"Do you think the pictures look better the way they are now, or how they were before?"
"You changed something?"
"I switched the one over the couch and the one over the love seat."
"Oh."
"Do you think it looks better now, or before?"
"Yes."
This is my life. I am bombarded with questions almost every day that are either a) something that really doesn't matter to me or b) it doesn't matter what I think. Yet, for some reason, my wife insists on asking me.
If you ask her why, she'll tell you it's because she wants me to be involved. If you ask me, I'll tell you that I'm quite happy being uninvolved in the discussion of whether or not there is too much grey in the blue in the fabric swatch she's holding.
This came to a head when we were planning our wedding (where my only concern was that she'd show up on the day). I finally had to explain that if "I don't care; you decide," was an insufficient answer, I would then randomly choose between the options she presented. If only I could get that kind of deal now.
So tell me, dear reader, is this what life is like in your house? Do you continue to solicit an opinion that you don't want from a person who doesn't want to give it? Or, do you feel my pain?
TNS: Fathers Not Role Models, Family
The BBC program Newsround did a survey of children between the ages of six and twelve to mark its 35th anniversary. Here are some of their findings:
- one quarter of kids do not consider their father part of the immediate family
- more boys idolize soccer players than their father
- 11% of children would turn to their father in a crisis (76% would consider their mother)
- 62% believe their parents worry about their safety too much
- more than half want to spend more time with their parents
- many indicated their fathers were too busy to spend time with them
It would be easy to point to broken homes and single-parent families as the root cause of these results. However, those are excuses, not explanations. The reality is that one does not need to be a cohabitant to be a good parent. Sure, it's easier to raise one's kids is you live in the same house, but that does not make it impossible to parent; it just makes it more difficult.
Also, with more than half saying they want to spend more time with their parents, and many indicating their father was too busy, we have a clearer picture. Parents need to take time out their day, or make time, to spend with their children. Yes, being a breadwinner is challenging, and yes, it can be difficult to find time when you're working shifts or sleeping during the day. But being a parent isn't just about doing it when it's convenient. It's about sacrifice and prioritizing.
The Brief Side
A newborn died in New Zealand less than 24 hours after the mother and child were discharged. The reason this is newsworthy? They were discharged five hours after the birth (the mother's first), without a nurse or doctor's examination of either patient, from a hospital that had previously been known to offer grocery store gift cards to encourage quick discharges.
In an age where everything seems toxic, it's good to know that a recent study has found that honey can be a cough suppressant.
An interesting legal twist has been created in the US, where a couple cannot get divorced in their home state. In Massachusetts, same-sex marriage is legal, but that doesn't mean Rhode Island (a neighbouring state) has to acknowledge the union, even in the case of dissolving it.
Just in time for the holidays (although a little late for Chanukah), here are five award-winning toys.
Finally, for divorced or separated couples with children, some thoughts about making the best of a difficult time this holiday season.
I also have a new Daditorial up today, where I look at the situation in Ontario family courts, where there aren't enough judges to hear cases.
TRS: Gah!
Friday afternoon we made the four-plus hour drive to visit my parents because my mother's 60th birthday was this weekend. The munchkin was quite eager to have Grandma read her a story:
After she went to bed, my sister called and opened with "I'll tell you the long version."
"Oh boy."
"So on Wednesday night, [my nephew] was puking his guts out. Thursday, [my BIL] stayed home with him and he stopped puking around 11am. We thought he was fine, and then tonight (Friday) he puked again."
"Oh man. Well, I'm sure Mom will understand."
"You see, I don't know if we need to stay away this weekend."
"Mmm hmm." Because, you, like, want everyone to catch your flu? "Well, you do what you think is best." In other words, keep your vomit coated kid home so we all don't end up driving the porcelain bus.
"Well, I'll see how he is tomorrow."
"OK." $#!^ *&%$# *&!@#$
Fast forward to Saturday morning, where my father answers the phone, says three words ("Hello. Yeah? OK.") and hangs up.
"They're coming."
$#!^ *&%$# *&!@#$
With apparently little or no sense of infection and how it spreads, my nephew engages my daughter in a game of dominoes in between wiping his nose with his hand:
The munchkin loved opening Grandma's presents (after being smothered with kisses from my sister, of course):
(While her aunt lie on the couch, barely able to move.)
With symptoms looming, she still refused to go home and prevent further spread. Gah!
On the upside, the munchkin seemed to be doing fine, given her late-night toilet antics:
(With all due respect to motherbumper - and for those of you who don't understand, check her Blogger profile.)
On Sunday, we went out for breakfast as a family, and then hit the road, praying we wouldn't be under gasto-intestinal siege:
It was so cold out that when we stopped for dinner, we let the munchkin have some hot chocolate:
As of this morning, none of us are symptomatic. MTM felt waves of nausea that haven't escalated into anything more than feelings, but otherwise we're fine.
No thanks to my sister.
TDS: Kids Are Weird
The munchkin and I have a game that we she loves to play, called Sears. It basically involves me lying on my stomach on the floor while she shouts instructions at me in broken Spanish (thank you, Dora) and then proceeds to treat me like a rock climbing obstacle.
Sears originally involved me being an elevator to the store of the same name. She would say sierra to get me to open my legs, and then climb up on my bottom (more than occasionally with a well-placed foot on the populator). She would then say "bada" to make me close my legs (the elevator doors) and would ask for a department.
Sadly, Sears has evolved into her shouting the open/close instructions at the top of her lungs, then either driving her heel into my butt cheeks or ignoring the process all together and digging her foot into the base of my skull as she climbs up, stands on my back, and then does the splits and drops herself, tail bone first, onto me, with every grunt of mine yielding squeals of delight from her.
There. Doesn't your life feel enriched now that you know that? No? OK then, as you were.
Today, I will formally introduce you to a new blog I have started, called Reviews From The Dad Side (those more astute readers may have already seen it in my Blogger profile). It all started a few weeks ago when I was contacted by a publisher to ask me if I was interested in reviewing a couple of their books. My initial reaction was one of uncertainty: Did I want to "commercialize" my site? What would my readers think? Who am I to review or recommend anything?
Ultimately (obviously), I accepted the offer, and started the new site to maintain the illusion of separation between the two. I will let you know of new posts over there as they come up (although don't expect exceptionally regular updates) in my regular posts here. And, it goes without saying that these are my opinions, and in no way am I telling anyone to do anything. I'm just telling you what I think about something that I got for free.
Here is an excerpt from my first review:
Continue reading at Reviews From The Dad Side
Sears originally involved me being an elevator to the store of the same name. She would say sierra to get me to open my legs, and then climb up on my bottom (more than occasionally with a well-placed foot on the populator). She would then say "bada" to make me close my legs (the elevator doors) and would ask for a department.
Sadly, Sears has evolved into her shouting the open/close instructions at the top of her lungs, then either driving her heel into my butt cheeks or ignoring the process all together and digging her foot into the base of my skull as she climbs up, stands on my back, and then does the splits and drops herself, tail bone first, onto me, with every grunt of mine yielding squeals of delight from her.
There. Doesn't your life feel enriched now that you know that? No? OK then, as you were.
Today, I will formally introduce you to a new blog I have started, called Reviews From The Dad Side (those more astute readers may have already seen it in my Blogger profile). It all started a few weeks ago when I was contacted by a publisher to ask me if I was interested in reviewing a couple of their books. My initial reaction was one of uncertainty: Did I want to "commercialize" my site? What would my readers think? Who am I to review or recommend anything?
Ultimately (obviously), I accepted the offer, and started the new site to maintain the illusion of separation between the two. I will let you know of new posts over there as they come up (although don't expect exceptionally regular updates) in my regular posts here. And, it goes without saying that these are my opinions, and in no way am I telling anyone to do anything. I'm just telling you what I think about something that I got for free.
Here is an excerpt from my first review:
The first book was titled Feeling Happy, and was intended for ages 0-3. It featured a rotating "feelings" wheel (which was scalloped, making it easier for little hands to rotate) that the child was expected to use to select the face that corresponded to the feeling experienced by the character on a particular page. While a good concept, it was difficult to differentiate between some of the feelings (particularly grumpy and angry. However, they seemed to anticipate this, and compensated by colour co-ordinating the faces with the predominant colour on the corresponding page. (To see what I mean, go to the book link above and click the View More Images link; the second one - sad - is a good example.)
Continue reading at Reviews From The Dad Side
TWS: Christmas Tree Lights
When I was a boy of eight or nine, I came home from school one afternoon and summarily put up the majority of my family's Christmas tree before my mother got home. (My father was working the night shift.) Ever since that night where I demonstrated my knack for decorating a tree - particularly stringing lights - I have always been the one to do the tree.
For the first Christmas MTM and I spent in our basement apartment, we got a nice little tree and some lights and ornaments. I volunteered to do the lights, and she agreed, so long as I explained what I was doing (her mother never let her put the lights on the tree, so she never knew what to do). I explained that it was harder than she thought it was, and she generally accepted this as fact. I did try to teach her, but every subsequent year found me doing the lights. Our routine became that she would fan out the branches after I put the lights on, and then together we'd put on the ornaments.
Last year, I lit the tree on a Thursday night after moving a bunch of furniture around the house (don't ask). I left it, telling MTM to fan out and point out any major black (unlit) areas when I got home Friday.
When I arrived home, I surveyed the tree and found significantly larger spots than I had expected. In fact, one entire branch was lightless! I knew I was tired when I did the tree, but I wasn't that tired. I asked MTM what happened.
Sheepishly, she says, "You said yourself you needed to adjust the lights, and I thought you are always telling me how hard the lights are, and I thought they would be easy, so I took all the lights off the tree and did it myself. It's really, really hard. I'm so sorry. Please don't yell, and don't blog about it."
Yeah, good luck with that part about the blogging.
I then removed about two thirds of the lights off the tree and redid it. Actually, that's not entirely accurate. First, I undid all the knots she made in the light wires by criss-crossing them in an effort to spread out the lights. Then, I removed them from the branches, and then I relit the tree. Normally, lighting the tree takes me around 30 minutes. The unknot/remove/relight process took nearly triple that.
Now, when I tell her something isn't as easy as it looks, she believes me.
For the first Christmas MTM and I spent in our basement apartment, we got a nice little tree and some lights and ornaments. I volunteered to do the lights, and she agreed, so long as I explained what I was doing (her mother never let her put the lights on the tree, so she never knew what to do). I explained that it was harder than she thought it was, and she generally accepted this as fact. I did try to teach her, but every subsequent year found me doing the lights. Our routine became that she would fan out the branches after I put the lights on, and then together we'd put on the ornaments.
Last year, I lit the tree on a Thursday night after moving a bunch of furniture around the house (don't ask). I left it, telling MTM to fan out and point out any major black (unlit) areas when I got home Friday.
When I arrived home, I surveyed the tree and found significantly larger spots than I had expected. In fact, one entire branch was lightless! I knew I was tired when I did the tree, but I wasn't that tired. I asked MTM what happened.
Sheepishly, she says, "You said yourself you needed to adjust the lights, and I thought you are always telling me how hard the lights are, and I thought they would be easy, so I took all the lights off the tree and did it myself. It's really, really hard. I'm so sorry. Please don't yell, and don't blog about it."
Yeah, good luck with that part about the blogging.
I then removed about two thirds of the lights off the tree and redid it. Actually, that's not entirely accurate. First, I undid all the knots she made in the light wires by criss-crossing them in an effort to spread out the lights. Then, I removed them from the branches, and then I relit the tree. Normally, lighting the tree takes me around 30 minutes. The unknot/remove/relight process took nearly triple that.
Now, when I tell her something isn't as easy as it looks, she believes me.
TNS: The Santa Claus Fund
According to a groundbreaking report from the United Way, more Toronto families are slipping into poverty this year while the rest of the GTA as well as the country are seeing economic improvements. This holiday season, 
45000 children will receive a gift box filled with warm clothing, a book, a toy, and some candy, courtesy of the Toronto Star Santa Claus Fund. The Star has been running features since the middle of last month about the project and families it touches. Some are stories of women fleeing abusive relationships (like the teenage mother of a four year old with autism and a two month old infant). Some are stories of newcomers (like the family that came from war-torn Afghanistan). But all are a brief view into the lives of people far less fortunate than any blogger, or blog reader.
Continue reading at Daditorial
The Brief Side
First up, some timely advice in light of the holiday season: don't spoil your kids out of guilt.
Some kids are being diagnosed with rickets, the disease of the 19th century, because of a lack of milk, sunshine and exercise.
Here is a sad tale of a father who has removed his daughters, ages 12 and 13, from school so they can take care of him.
This article should spark some debate: should spanking your child be illegal? (For the record, my personal answer to the question is an emphatic "yes".)
A Toronto father was given a seven year sentence for intentionally scalding his toddler in the bath.
TRS: The Weekend That Almost Wasn't
This weekend was a typical December Canadian weekend. Everything we had planned got screwed up or almost screwed up by the weather.
Saturday morning the munchkin and I hit the library for our semi-regular music class, which, while usually filled with ten or more kids with one or both parents, was attended by three other kids (due to snow). So, it was small, but it was still fun.
After that, we hit the local mall to do some Christmas shopping for Mommy. Unfortunately, since this blog is known to be frequented by certain nosy people, I cannot say any more about the shopping, except that the munchkin charmed the pants off the salesgirls. They asked her what she was asking Santa for, and upon learning it was a "big kitchen", she proceeded to invite them for dinner at our house (for broccoli, cheeseburgers, and homemade cheesecake, for those interested).
That afternoon, the munchkin and MTM made sugar cookies:
And later that evening, we settled in for the munchkin's first viewing of the family classic, Frosty The Snowman (which, surprisingly, was not as bad as we anticipated... one instance of "stupid", and a couple for "hate"):
On Sunday, we had a few friends over, who barely made it because of the weather. They were delayed, which meant the munchkin was forced to wait:
She did, however, get to play on a "special mat" (also known as "our old tablecloth from our basement apartment"):
But the best part, at least for me, was that our friend brought her four week old daughter who I had yet to meet. We hit it off instantly, as she (like many women) found my goatee irresistible:
And really, does it get any better than that?
Oh, I nearly forgot: the munchkin wanted to give the baby a bottle. Since she is breastfed, we explained that the baby doesn't get milk from a bottle, but rather from her Mommy's breast. The munchkin said, "Oh," and then proceeded to lift up her shirt and try to put her nipple in the baby's mouth. Yes, we have video footage of this, but it isn't blog-safe. Sorry.
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